Last week I had 3 days and wanted to go backpacking inside the park but I wasn't able to get a trip coordinated so I relaxed for the first 2 days, got some laundry done, put my feet up and cleaned up my room. On the third full day off I was itching to get out of the canyon and opted to hop on one of the VTS (visitor transportation shuttles) inside the park. Denali National Park is unique in that it only has 1 road running through it and that road can only be traveled by permitted vehicles. Public cars can drive the first 15 miles of road which are the only paved miles on the 100 mile long road. After the first 15 miles which ends at Savage River the road is hard packed dirt. There are large green school bus like shuttles that take you to different points inside the park. I opted to jump on the
Eielson Visitor's Center Shuttle. This is a small visitor's center 66 miles into the park that just opened about a week ago. It takes 4 hours to get out to the visitor's center and another 4 to return.
This was my first time going deeper into the park and I was really excited to see more of the park. The VTS system is really a well run system and the bus drivers are very knowledgeable about the park. They aren't certified guides but still have a lot of great information and stories to share with their riders. On our way out we ran into a moose snacking at a pond just off the road. All buses stop for wildlife and will remain stopped for upwards of 15 minutes so everyone can take pictures. The fun part is that the driver watches the road while we all look out the windows for animals. It's the rider's job to find the animals and when you do so you're supposed to yell, "STOP!" They are not joking either when they tell you to yell loudly, as soon as you hear one person say it the whole bus joins in with a loud, "STOP!!!" All told I saw 6 grizzly bears, 2 moose, 3 caribou, a bunch of snowshoe hares and lots of birds.
When we got out to Eielson the weather was pretty cold and drizzly so I opted not to spend a few hours hiking around because I wasn't properly dressed for the cold. Instead I used the 45 minutes to walk around the nearby trails and photograph flowers and mountains.
After getting back on the bus it dawned me just what I was doing this summer. I've spent the last year in constant transition, graduating from college, moving away from friends, getting my first real job, losing an important relationship and trying to find my way in the world. I came to Alaska for a change of scenery, to do something that was all about me and what I wanted. When I left to fly to Anchorage what I was really doing hit for a moment but it wasn't until I was on that shuttle in the park that the reality set it. I've really come to Alaska, the distance, and the remoteness of where I am finally set in. The people I work with everyday who come and stay at the hotel are retirees, this is there chance to see Alaska before they can no longer travel. Here I am at 25, I packed a couple suitcases, bought a plane ticket and ended up in Denali for 4 months. I sat on the bus thinking of how unique this experience really is. My life has never really felt extraordinary to me in anyway, in fact I've spent too much time wishing I had experiences that others have had. I never studied abroad, I haven't dated a lot I haven't traveled to far out places, other than this! Maybe it's being 25, maybe it's what I've gone through this last year, or maybe it's Alaska but sitting on that bus, for the first time I thought, "Lydia, you have an extraordinary life!"
I can feel a difference in my mental attitude and outlook up here. I don't know exactly what's brought it about, again it could be Alaska, being 25 but I'm inclined to think that more than anything else it's the fact that in the last 2 months I have faced my biggest fears and survived. I lost something that I would sacrificed everything for and thought it was gone forever. I lost myself in the fight to save something I believed I couldn't live without. There is a bittersweet peace in letting go and surviving. I felt a sense of calm and relief but also deep sadness. Striking out on my own into the last frontier was never high on my list of things to do. I wanted to visit Alaska, with my friends, or my partner but never by myself. Now I see in many ways I had to. I needed a chance to be the girl I never wanted to have to be and yet still come out the girl I always wanted to be. I see her now too, she's hard to suppress and everyday I learn more and like her more.